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My All-Time Favorite Poker Jokes

Saturday, September 24th, 2011

My favorite memory from college is sitting around my rickety old kitchen table with two of my mates, downing Cokes and enjoying round after round of poker at 3 am.  Somehow, we managed to get up the next day, passed all our exams and eventually went on to become reasonably professional in our respective careers.  I’ve had a lot of sweet memories since then but those early memories still stick with me today, and whenever we get the chance, my college pals and I get together to play poker as we did back then.  The only difference is that we’ve swapped the Cokes for beer….

Over the years, I’ve collected some great poker jokes to share with my buddies every time we meet.  Here are a couple of my favorites:

Joke #1

“A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the police came through the door, to raid the game.

Approaching the priest, the chief officer asks: “Father O’Sullivan, were you gambling?” Looking up to heaven, the father whispers, “Lord, absolve me for what I am about to do.” Turning to the police officer, the father said, “No, officer, I wasn’t gambling.”

The officer then turns and asks the minister: “Pastor Jackson, were you by any chance gambling?” Again, after pleading to the heavens, the minister had replied, “No, officer, I had not been gambling.”

Turning his attention to the rabbi, the police officer asks one more time: “Rabbi Levkovitch, were you by any chance gambling?” Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied: “With whom?”

Joke #2

A couple of dog owners were arguing about how intelligent their pets were.

“The smartest dog I ever had,” said one of them, “was a German shepherd called Jack. He could play poker better than most people, but I eventually had him put to sleep.”

“You put him to sleep, a smart dog like that?” asked the other men, astounded. “A dog such as that must be worth millions of dollars.”

“I had to,” he replied, “We caught him using marked cards!”

Spin your Way Through Rugby World Cup

Sunday, September 4th, 2011

Yeah!  Another super Rugby World Cup is just around the corner, and I’ve got my weekends all lined up to incorporate serious male bonding time!  Crates of lager? Check.  Bags of popcorn and peanuts? Check.  Wife and kids booked to go and spend some quality time with other sports widows? Check, check and check!

I’ve got my eyes on the Wallabies holding up the trophy this time around, but they’ve got some serious competition against teams like South Africa, New Zealand and England.

Some of the top online casinos are running promotions that will let you win tickets to New Zealand to watch the World Cup.  InterCasino, for example, has a competition where the top prize is an all-expenses trip to Auckland, tickets to see the two semi finals AND the finals, as well as luxury accommodation and spending money.  I am definitely going to wager at this site to try and get my hands on THAT prize.

There’ll also be plenty of half times to spend wagering online, and my buddies and I have already lined up some rugby themed games to keep us in the spirit of the sport, all the while putting ourselves in line to win some seriously great cash.

One of the classics is Casino-On-Net’s Rough Rugby, a five reel, fifteen pay line online slot game which has lots of super features to really get your into the swing of rugby action.  For example, you can enjoy a free spins bonus round, a Prize Kicker bonus round, a scatter symbol and a wild symbol. The Wild Scrum substitutes for other symbols in the game to complete winning combinations and you can win up to 30 free spins through the Play the Ball bonus game.

A game similar to rugby is Australian Footy, and in honor of my favorite World Cup team, I will play a slot machine dedicated solely to this game. The five reels and 15 pay line Australian Footy brings the excitement of this sport to the player’s fingertips, while the graphics and sound features offered by Rival Gaming software group makes it even more realistic.

And of course, I’ll be betting on my favorites at the online bookmaker sites I have lined up.

Life doesn’t get sweeter!

Gambling Meets Fine Arts at the Bellagio

Tuesday, August 16th, 2011

If you’re a fine arts fundie, you don’t have to miss out on another great weekend in Las Vegas just because you’re dying to catch an arts exhibition in NYC.  The Bellagio Gallery of Fine Art in Las Vegas is the city’s premier exhibition space and visitors are constantly treated to some of the most famous works in the world when they visit this resort and casino.

The Bellagio Gallery of Fine Art states that it is “committed to presenting intimate exhibitions featuring works by some of the world’s most compelling artists.”  As such, the museum works together with other institutions from all over the world to bring visitors top works.

Recently, I visited the museum on one my stopovers in Vegas because I wanted to catch it’s latest exhibition, A Sense of Place: From Monet to Hockney.  There were about 30 works of art exhibiting landscape art and they weren’t limited to paintings.  I was delighted to see a number of photographs and video installation, which gave a great balance to the classics.  There were works by Marc Chagall, Claude Monet, Helen Frankenthaler, David Hockney and Vic Muniz – to name just a few. The expo was organized in partnership with the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. Kudos to the director who put this exhibition together!  If you want to catch this event, don’t forget to visit the Bellagio before January 2012!

Just as an aside, casinos such as the Bellagio seem to have hit the nail on the head when it comes to bringing their visitors an all-round entertainment experience.  While the main draw card to Las Vegas is obviously its fantastic gambling opportunities, visitors may want a respite from all that casino action.  The resorts offer pools, bars and restaurants, but the idea to introduce an art gallery (or similar cultural events) is definitely a great one.  It offers visitors an opportunity to do ‘the Vegas thing’ a little differently, allowing them to enjoy art and culture after a couple of slot sessions or blackjack all-nighters.

 
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