A recent survey run by the UK Gambling Commission found that the lottery is the most common form of gambling among the British people and literally millions buy at least one lottery ticket each week. If you look at the lottery from an objective point of view, your chances of hitting it big are quite minute, however, I believe that lottery players are not only buying that chance of winning the jackpot – they are buying the opportunity to dream for at least a week what they’ll do with the massive sums of money that’ll come their way.
To celebrate the joy that lotteries bring us, I’m sharing with you some of my favorite lottery jokes:
Farmin’ the Lottery
An old farmer wins $10 million on the lottery and is interviewed by the local TV station. Naturally, he is asked what he is going to do with all that money. He scratches his heads and says, “Well, I dunno, really. Guess I’ll have to keep farmin’ till it’s all gone.”
A man rushes into his home, waving his arms hysterically and yelling: “Mary, Mary, pack your things. I’ve just won the national lottery!”
Mary stops the housework, jumps up and down in glee and says: “Wonderful! What shall I pack for? Warm or cold weather?”
Her husband replies: “Doesn’t really matter, honey. As long as you’re out the house by noon!”
Did you hear about the $20 million lottery in Tennessee? The winner gets to win $2 a year for a million years.
Redneck Lottery Winner
A redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The redneck then says: “I want my $20 million!”
The lottery official explains patiently: “Sorry sir, but it doesn’t work that way. We pay you $1 million now and the rest is spread over the next 19 years at a rate of $1 million a year.”
The redneck gets a little red around the neck and yells: “No! I want my $20 million now. I won it fair and square!”
To which, again, the official explained the lottery’s policy.
The rednack, leans over, bangs his hand on the table and yells: “Look! I want my $20 million now. If you’re not going to give it to me now, I want my $2 back!”